tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4149170681309171452.post3526052866240735632..comments2023-03-30T11:59:16.934-04:00Comments on Do it WELL by C.S. Severe: Adolescence 2.0: The People Collector Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02433372760860510949noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4149170681309171452.post-84800948633307781512013-04-15T22:20:29.603-04:002013-04-15T22:20:29.603-04:00Hey there! This is a first draft and you've sh...Hey there! This is a first draft and you've shown me where I can do some serious cutting! Thanks for your advice! I appreciate it! Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02433372760860510949noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4149170681309171452.post-74386199421310229332013-04-14T05:57:24.872-04:002013-04-14T05:57:24.872-04:00Oh hai,
I has read ur story, Adolescence 2.0: The...<br />Oh hai,<br /><br />I has read ur story, Adolescence 2.0: The People Collector.<br /><br />It start out ok, and I found I like it.<br /><br />But the real hook is at paragraphs 5, 9, and the last paragraphs where the conversation begins.<br /><br />Paragraphs 5 & 9 tell the real reason why she collects people. And the conversation shows the first piece of action when she actually tries to talk to someone.<br /><br />Why wait so long to introduce her real desires and the first actual action?<br /><br />Ur story is not my genre so feel free to disregard my opinion.<br /><br />ok thx bai.<br /><br />:3Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4149170681309171452.post-42260910087226404442013-02-11T15:36:17.485-05:002013-02-11T15:36:17.485-05:00Thanks for reading, Janna! Yeah, her story will de...Thanks for reading, Janna! Yeah, her story will definitely come out as well. My transportation is half my car and half mass transit. Glad you found that aspect interesting! Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02433372760860510949noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4149170681309171452.post-41489892041254935622013-02-10T22:56:58.967-05:002013-02-10T22:56:58.967-05:00I hope Jean's story comes out as she pulls the...I hope Jean's story comes out as she pulls the stories from the people she collects. I've never lived in a city with a subway (or decent mass transit) so that aspect of it was interesting as well.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4149170681309171452.post-50785455018675087382013-02-09T16:08:15.639-05:002013-02-09T16:08:15.639-05:00I try to smile as well. Thanks Elizabeth! Glad you...I try to smile as well. Thanks Elizabeth! Glad you enjoyed it. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02433372760860510949noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4149170681309171452.post-60791476898408836312013-02-09T13:29:58.800-05:002013-02-09T13:29:58.800-05:00I always try to smile at folks.
Loved how you wo...I always try to smile at folks. <br /><br />Loved how you worked in the old cliche' about misery. :-)<br /><br />Enjoyed the read.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com