Someday. A day in the future where it all works out. A day when I look back to the now and laugh at the hurt and think: it really wasn’t that bad. I had a someday moment last night as I thought about my depression through college and how I survived it. External triggers unfortunately dug them up from the hole whence I banished them. Usually when I let the memory of those years resurface, my heart aches or I cry, but this time I only laughed. What I had experience came nowhere close to the great suffering of countless others.
|Look on the bright side!|
I do not belittle my pain, however, because it’s part of who I am. I’ve just grown enough to not let pain hinder me in any way and to laugh it off. So, today, I have hope in someday, but even greater still because I will take an active part in making my someday happen sooner than later. As the last few days of 2012 roll on by, my mind grasps at someday. It will be more than strength to surrender pain and choose happiness because I can do that today. It will be a new life in California; days at study near the water; winters snowboarding in Colorado; and sunsets at the beach full of peace, smiles, and a good friend beside me to share a hot potato and a cool drink. These are the days I will fight for in 2013. Along with these goals:
-Finish editing COT
-Get an agent for COT
-Get COT published
-Finish AWYG (Alien Within Your Gates; short sci-fi drama)
-Send AWYG to a publisher
-Save $4000 for Japan
-Live and work in Japan for a year
-Read 100 books and review them
-Live in France
-Live in France
-Apply to Ph.D. programs in California
-Get accepted to a school in California
-Live in California
|Into the West: a new life awaits!|
It’s astounding really what you can learn in only four months without work or school. My return from Korea has had its lows with several points of high. One of those highs included reviving this blog. It has become a dear friend to me. It helped halt my drifting though Ghostland to rise and walk in the land of the living.
So, for this last post of the year, I want to wish you and yours a very Happy New Year!
Thanks for reading,